1. Shortly afterwards, gas pains start.
2. Stuff begins gurgling in the intestines.
3. Discomfort caused by nausea and intestinal gas begins.
4. There is a strong urge to fart (Danger Will Robinson, Danger!)
5. Off to the bathroom. If you're lucky, you make it. If not... If you're driving, better hope you can find a public restroom that is reasonably clean (in your condition, there is no time to do much more than cursory cleaning before use). Have you tried to find a public restroom lately? McDonalds is your friend now!
6. Eruption begins, forcibly ejecting the large intestine's contents along with a large quantity of water.
7. Sit, somewhat spent, hoping that the next wave is NOT on its way.
8. Sometimes this is accompanied by sweating and tremors.
9. The previous 3 steps may repeat multiple times over the next 4-6 hours.

If Rick takes the lactase tablets, but not enough to counteract the lactose content of the food, then the consistency of the eruption might be modified to something resembling soft-serve ice cream (but I guarantee it is not nearly as tasty, even if I can't eat soft-serve any longer <I can still remember>). It may also lengthen the time before symptoms occur to an hour or more. It may decrease the number of secondary eruptions.

If Rick takes enough lactase, then he may get to skip the entire ordeal. But you never know for sure for several hours. In the meantime, you must be on-guard! In Rick's condition, it pays to eat ice cream at home.

If you're trying to kill a rat, you can look up the lethal dosage somewhere; x amount of poison per y kilograms of body weight. Assume a large rat. You're done.

With LI, you don't know how much lactose we must neutralize, therefore you don't know the dosage. Bummer.

The only sure fire way to avoid this is to

• avoid obvious sources of milk products
• take more than enough Lactaid to counterract any lactose in the food. For Rick, it's way more than the 2 tablets they recommend in the directions.